Just Another Day

When you've lived alone as long as I have, birthdays and holidays become just another day. Not unlike any other in any way, except that maybe you hear from people you don't usually hear from any other day. I didn't really do anything special for my birthday, but I do so appreciate all the lovely comments from you folks. It did help to make the day a little brighter for me. Thanks.

You know what I hate about my birthday? I'm so used to writing my birthday on all kinds of forms and shit, and when it is the actual day, I start to write the days date and end up writing 11/20/62.

Does anyone else do that? Or am I just a dipshit? I did that on my energy assistance application and several checks I wrote yesterday. So today they all called me to tell me about my mistake.

Of course I had to explain and even though the year of my birth was right there in front of them they still asked how old I was. My reply? "I'm 92, I just look good for my age." Silence.

I was thrilled to near death when my son called me in the morning. After he said "Happy Birthday," I asked him if he really remembered or did one of his sister call him to remind him.

"You said the same thing last year mom, I remembered!"

Warmed the cockles of my heart. We chatted about what's wrong with me now. I told him I was quitting smoking for real this time.

"Bout fucking time!"
"Uh, son, I know you are an adult now and you probably talk to your friends like that, but you know how much I hate that word so please refrain from using it with me ok?"
"Sure mom, no problem."

Hey it's better than "Fuck You." We talked for quite awhile and I even got an "I love you," outta him. Started out my day pretty good.

The old lady was pissed at me cuz I didn't have the time to take her anywhere. She knew it was my birthday but did not say happy birthday to me at all. Not even when I gave her a cupcake and told her it was my way of celebrating my birthday.

At the time I made my therapy appointment, I said it was on my birthday and the nurse/receptionist said "Oh goody then you'll be bringing cupcakes?" So of course I did.

I made them the night before. I didn't have any eggs so I called my next door neighbor and asked to borrow some. Then I drove over to her house to pick them up. Yes I drove next door... only in the Northwoods.

So I brought cupcakes to therapy. I was bowled over to learn the nurse/receptionist was no longer there. This woman quit her job to follow this doc and therapist when their positions were eliminated, helped them get all set up in a new facility and then they let her go? Pissed me off.

But I smiled when I gave out the rest of the cupcakes. I told them "just like in grade school, you bring cupcakes to the other kids in school in hopes they will be nice to you one day out of the year."

They weren't. They made me cry. I don't remember what was said, but I got all teary eyed. Then they were nice to me. I don't know if it was really what they said, or I was just being overemotional.

I tend to think it was the pain. As I said the other day, this pain is unbearable. For me to say that, it has to be really bad and it is. Pain didn't care that it was my fucking birthday.

I did the shopping for the icky guy, he tried to give me a hug for my birthday but he had such bad B.O. I told him I'd pass. He didn't press. Thank God.

After I did his shopping I went on a little shopping spree of my own. I was so excited, cuz Wendy hit my tip jar and ordered me to buy something for myself and there was a 40% off sale on village houses at Shopko.

But my brain wasn't calculating that percentage off correctly and I over spent. Brought my checking account down to 3 lousy cents. OOOPS. Oh well, at least it didn't take it past 0. I guess it was ok not to go out for dinner all by myself anyway.

There were 2 messages on my machine when I got home. D2, bitching me out for not being home on my birthday and my boss. Making it sound like bad news about the old lady. I called the boss back first.

Nothing bad. I thought for sure with my luck I'd get fired on my birthday. But that wasn't it. We all know the old lady is planning something sneaky. We are just trying to figure out what.

It's sad really, but I think she is planning to run away. Don't laugh, it's true. We all know she wants to take a trip. We also know, but she doesn't know that we know, that she is inquiring about how old people can make the trip alone. But that's another post.

Called D2 back, did our usual chat. Just before we hung up she said "Oh yeah, Happy Birthday Mom!" From her, that's ok, cuz I talk to her almost every day.

Just when I sat down to watch Hero's (remind me to do that post in my head about this show) "A" called to wish me happy birthday and talk about what the old lady is planning.

Good thing I taped the show. After I watched it, with all my heating pads on, I started to doze off. I figured that was better than thinking about D1 forgetting it was my birthday.

But the phone rang at 10:30. D1 had just gotten home from work and wanted to call first thing so I didn't think she forgot. We had a long chat. She was very pleasant. I'm thinking there might be some news there soon.

She knows how superstitious I am, she tries not to be but I think she is too. Either way you couldn't deny the coincidences. I asked how mr E-Harmony.com is, (cuz that's how she met him), she said it was their 6 months anniversary, like she just remembered.

I told her that was a sign. My birthday/their anniversary means he's the one. She said what's even weirder is that there was an E-Harmony.com commercial on at the exact same time I said it.

I told her that meant this is it. She said she couldn't afford a wedding right now. I didn't say anything about a wedding! I'm keeping my fingers crossed though. I want grandkids before I die!

So this morning my neck hurts twice as much as it did yesterday. I'm about ready to get the chainsaw out and just cut the fucker in half. Trucker called this morning. The conversation went something like this:

"Have you talked to "A" lately."
"As a matter of fact she called me last night."
"Oh yeah, why?"
"She wanted to wish me a Happy Birthday."
Silence.
A little while later the subject of my age comes up and he asks just how old I am.
"I turned 44 yesterday."
Silence.
"Ya know, it's a damn good thing we aren't really dating cuz you'd be in the shit house by now dear."
"Why cuz I didn't call you on your birthday?"
"Well, if we were actually in a real dating relationship, that would certainly get you in the dog house for a little while. But to call the next day and not even say a fucking Happy Birthday after I came right out and told you it was my birthday yesterday, TWICE, then you would definitely have some serious sucking up to do."
"Yeah I guess I would. So if I say Happy Birthday now, will you bitch at me that it's too late?"
"Well I dunno, try it and see what ya get."
"You gonna hang up on me?"
"No."
"Ok then Happy Birthday."
"Yeah fuck you too, it's too late now." Laughing.
"Well maybe I shouldn't come home next week and we should just keep this strictly on the phone?"
"Well maybe, but I'm not doing phone sex with ya."
"Well shit then I guess I'll come home next week."
"Whatever floats yer boat sugar."

Later on, Walmart called to tell me my boots are in. Shit, I forgot about those, I don't have enough money to get them til the 3rd now. I asked if they'd hold them that long, she said she'd ask the boss.

Got another hit on the tip jar and had a sweet chat with another sweetheart. Too bad he's married. But it did help me overcome my disappointment that a couple of people didn't wish me a Happy Birthday.

Walmart called back and said they couldn't hold the boots. Oh well, it's 45 degrees today anyway and supposed to be 50 by Thursday. Maybe I won't need the boots til the 3rd anyway!

After the old lady I had to go to therapy (OT this time). Almost as soon as I sat down I started feeling weepy. My therapist is an old friend. We have a lot of history, nothing bad, just haven't talked in a long time.

She asked how my birthday was and what my plans were for Thanksgiving. All I could do was cry. Hell if I know why. It's not like I'm upset that I will be alone, again. But I think I was picking up on her pity for me.

I was weepy the entire time. Didn't matter what she said, my eyes were leaking. She kept trying to figure out why and psychoanalyze me. Finally I told her I knew what it was but didn't want to talk about it.

As soon as I left her, I no longer felt weepy. In fact, I called the girls at the front desk from the phone in the hallway, just a step away from the front desk, and told them goodbye. They laughed.

We chatted about silly things and we were all smiles.

Now, I wish it would stay light enough outside for me to do something out there, but it will be dark in an hour. So I think I just might do a little cleaning. Never a shortage of that around here.

Or maybe I'll take a pill, lay down with my three heating pads, and take a nice nap.