My therapy appointment was the day after someone called me to tell me they cared about me then proceeded to tell me all the things he thought was wrong with me. Naturally, the conversation at my therapy appointment was about that.
In the middle of the conversation, I looked up at his bookshelves. I swear this book just jumped out at me and I asked him if I could take it home and read it. Men Who Can't Love was all I saw on the cover.
When I got home I looked more closely at it. It's about commitment-phobic men. That's not what I thought it was, so I just left it sitting on the dining room table. But I figured it was worth looking at since I couldn't do much else.
The gist of the book seems to be telling women it's not their fault, it's his problem. Hell I already knew that much. But one paragraph in the second chapter really jumped out at me.
The Situation Is Not the Woman's Fault, but It Has Become Her Problem
In an ideal world, a woman would only have to continue doing what many of them are doing- being warm, kind, attractive, smart, accomplished, and sympathetic- and men would flock to her side. I'm sorry, but this is not what's happening. Terrific women are not having terrific relationships with terrific men. These women respond to this by shaking their heads and thinking they have to be more terrific- perfectly sane, perfectly loving, perfectly terrific- in short, perfect. I don't think this is going to work. Here's why: What these men fear is commitment, and when they look at you and your perfection, they know that you are someone to marry and live with happily ever after. This is precisely what they don't want to do - so, they run in the other direction. This is not your fault, but it certainly has become your problem.
See? That's my problem... I'm just too perfect!
I guess I need to become cold, unkind, ugly, dumb, and non sympathetic, a total bitch. Then men will flock to me!
Now anyone got any ideas how I can do that?
No comments:
Post a Comment